To Be Human
Nobody said life was going to be easy. This choicely worded sentence was probably the number one phrase of wisdom your parents decided to bestow upon you the moment you found yourself complaining about life for the first time. Oh you failed a hard test? Well, life too is also hard and sometimes you completely fail at life. Oh no, a backstabbing friend? Well, life can be backstabbing sometimes, hitting you hard when you least expect it. We all know it, it was engraved into our brains the moment we first experienced that utter defeat that only life itself can bring: the defeat that leaves you shaking at your core, your heart heavy, and head numb. The defeat that stops you in your tracks, wondering, “where did I go wrong? Why me? What could I have possibly done to deserve this?” So, we shake our fists at the sky and carry on, continuing the cycle of defeat and relief, pain and pleasure, happy and, well, sad. Thus, we must carry on, for that is life; a long stretch of existence that seems to go on forever until one day it doesn't. Like a seat on a rollercoaster, we begin moving upward, but that which rises must eventually fall. Sometimes we remain up, sometimes we plummet down, and sometimes we just rest in between, chugging along placidly until we inevitably meet our fate.
Entering the world of true “adulthood” really makes a person think, however, about the type of existence, or mark, you want to make in life. It is so easy to give into your defeat, letting the inner monsters take control over your mind. No one ever talks about how hard it is to remain positive in distressing situations, to stay calm when you’re furious, to be mature when all you want to do is scream and cry. It’s hard to be an adult, and the truth is, no one ever talks about what you really sign up for when you go to college or move on to the next stages of your life. No one mentions that trying to study for five exams while also making sure that you aren’t drowning in your own filth while still managing to feed yourself and do your laundry all at the same time is a thing that adults do. No one mentions the fact that making friends is really hard when people aren’t just placed in your lap like they are in high school, and that often you just end up feeling really really lonely. And most importantly, no one mentions that sometimes, you just miss your family, however annoying they could be. I'll tell you the real secret though: no adult knows what they’re doing either. We are all completely winging this whole “life” thing.
In my opinion however, we just don’t give ourselves enough credit for merely existing. We are selfish creatures, and we just expect an automated response from ourselves at this point, viewing the simple, yet oddly delightful, daily tasks as expected and normal, instead of something to marvel at. When was the last time you felt proud for simply feeding yourself three meals in one day, or complimented yourself for taking a shower? When was the last time you felt happy knowing that the super hard decision you had to make, like cutting out toxic individuals from your life, was for the best and that you’re now happier? When was the last time you were thankful that you were simply alive, viewing your life as a gift instead of a burden?
Believe me, I know. Some days it feels like there is just nothing to be thankful for. But if you just take my word, I promise even the lowest of days can feel better. Take time to admire the little things like the changing of the leaves, or the way your best friend’s cheeks flush pink in the cold. Sit on your bed after your shower and just relax, because sometimes showering is really hard. And guess what? You just did that. Give yourself time to rest, because life can leave us broken and battered, and sometimes we fall. And most importantly, never discount the fact that today You’re You. And that’s good enough.
We as a society need to normalize being more kind to ourselves, so in turn we can be more kind to others. Otherwise, we end up in a world where life is filled with double standards, calling others dramatic for engaging in the same coping habits that we ourselves use to just barely scrape by. Through taking time to notice our ticks and the way we react, we can spare others, and as a result, ourselves a lot of pain and suffering. Sometimes what bothers us about others is the thing we hate most about ourselves. However, sometimes the people you think are your friends turn out to be complete strangers, and the people you weren’t even that close with care about you more than you realize. You just need to give others a chance. Keep your strings loose. Live with an open heart.
And in case no one reminded you today, you are amazing. You are valued. You are loved, not unlovable. And, you are not alone. Ever.
