A Love to Last
I frequently have stories and posts pop up on my social media called “soulmate aus” or otherwise known as “soulmate alternate universes.” These posts contain mini stories such as “what if on our wrists were a tattoo that had the exact date you’d meet your soulmate” or “what if once we turned eighteen we stopped aging until we met our soulmate, and once we did we would slowly start to age again, so we could grow old with our soulmate.”
These stories sound amazing, and I for one would love to live in a world where my soulmate is not only determined for you but found easily. Wouldn’t it be so easy to want to fall in love, knowing that there is a person destined for you? It would take away the pain of heartbreak, loneliness, and doubt: knowing that there is someone you are destined to be with forever.
The concept of soulmates has been prized for a long time now, with many cultures around the world writing about how we are destined for someone out there. In Chinese mythology, there is the concept of the red string of fate, stating that “two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle, but never break” (Google). Emily Brontë said in Wuthering Heights, “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same,” yet again alluding to the concept of soulmates. In Ancient Greek, Plato referred to soulmates in his writing The Symposium, stating that humans were originally created with having two faces, four arms and four legs. However, they were too powerful, so the gods split them in two, creating a duo that longed to be reunited once more with their other half, a duo that spends their entire life searching for the one. Thus, the concept of a soulmate was once again created. A twin flame, if you will.
So, based on this small bit of evidence, is it true? Is there such a thing as soulmates? Are we really destined to be with one person for the rest of our lives? Ask your friends, your family, “do soulmates really exist?” If yes, then why do people get divorced? Is it because they married someone who just wasn’t their perfect match? Why do people cheat then in what can appear to be a perfect marriage? What is the point of a soulmate if heartbreak exists? Even if you think you found your soulmate, why do you still end up getting hurt?
In my absolute all-time favorite book, Le Petit Prince, there is a wise fox who befriends the golden-haired prince. This little fox, who is probably my favorite literary character ever, drops some serious wisdom throughout the novella. For some background context here, the little prince needs to leave planet earth to be united with his one true love, his rose. However, he is sad to leave behind his new friend, the clever little fox. The little fox then says,
“You run the risk of weeping a little, if you let yourself get tamed. Of course I’ll hurt you. Of course you’ll hurt me. Of course we will hurt each other. But this is the very condition of existence. To become spring, means accepting the risk of winter. To become presence, means accepting the risk of absence.”
Basically, it is natural to get hurt if you let yourself love. It is inevitable. Whether it is friendship love, familial love, or romantic love, you will always end up disappointed, because no one can love you in the exact way you want to be loved. No one is perfect. No one can provide your every need. There will always be a time to say goodbye, whether it’s your soulmate, best friend in the whole entire world, or your beloved pet who stood by your side when no one else did.
So, soulmates. Do they exist. Do they not. Who knows? What really matters though is the love and effort put into the relationship, not if you are destined to be together. What if your soulmate turned out to be an asshole? Then what. Isn’t it better to choose what you put and receive in a relationship?
Love is made through choices. Fate only guides them along.
Back to Le Petit Prince, the fox yet again drops a fat piece of wisdom on love. Again, for more context, the prince is confused whether he loves his rose or not, if she’s special or not. Sometimes she can be prickly. Sometimes she can be standoffish. There are also a thousand plus one other roses in the world. So what makes her special?
“It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”
Let me repeat that for those of you in the back. It is the TIME you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important. So special. So worthwhile. Time is the answer folks. Time + effort = love. It is a simple formula, but one that many struggle to master.
People don’t want to put in that time for their significant other, because time is scarce. People don’t want to put in effort, because they have given up on love. The love they once had faded. The chemistry they once had is gone. The attraction that once drew them now revolts them. Maybe they were fiery and stubborn, and that drew you in. Someone bold. Someone fierce. Now all you see is the stubborn attitude and you groan. Why did you ever fall in love in the first place?
That is all due to the lack of effort and time. Indeed, time changes people. Maybe they really did get more annoying, or maybe you refused to grow with them. The person you marry won’t be the same person in two years, in ten years, in fifty years, God willing it lasts that long. It is necessary to adapt in order to fully love. As they say, time’s a changing.
Soulmates may not exist, but you can create your own version of a soulmate with the love you put in. To cultivate is to love.
